he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Drunk is a universal language darling
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
