I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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