Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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