so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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