Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
