so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
