I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Randomize
