i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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