Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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