C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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