just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
