There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
