i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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