I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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