You're completely useless in the revolution.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
