your parents love me but you hate me
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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