I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
