Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
