I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
