the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
