This girl is more easily done than said...
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
im holly from the hills drunk
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
