she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
