dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
My Higher Power is John Stamos
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
