I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
