If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
