Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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