I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
