i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
