Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
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