Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
