In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
