You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Randomize
