the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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