Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
