We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
