Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
