Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
