Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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