Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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