No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
