wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
