Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
