the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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