oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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