I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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