I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
