dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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