Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize