i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
