Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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