I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
